Craft Notes on 'The Father" by Mary Jones

a.      The voice is matter of fact. There is no telling at all, just showing. Maybe the end is telling: “they did not see him on the first Sunday, or on any other day, any more.” That ending line doesn’t give us an image, but it creates an emotion. All through the piece, she is just letting us absorb all these images, and then BAM, at the end we have to feel something, and it germinates from the images we’d just absorbed.

b.       This quote and phrase, “I don’t care about my kids,” the father said. And he closed the door and ate the spaghetti,” show me the kind of man the father is in a very small space. It makes the whole piece. We catch glimpses of who the father is throughout, with the repetitiveness of the actions, the fact that they only saw him once a month, but that phrase shows what’s actually happening between him and his kids.

c.       The piece holds together because it is extremely short and to the point. It borders on matter-of-fact sometimes, and that’s what keeps it going. They do the same thing every month, ans it’s told in a fast-paced matter of fact way, and we are waiting for something to change. When it does change, it hits us hard because of what the meaning is, but also because the format changes from matter-of-fact showing to a final telling sentence.

d.      I take with me the idea of accompanying changes in the content of a story with format changes or style changes as well. By changing the format and the content and the style all at once, I can create a bigger impact on the reader, and it will be more noticeable. In this way, I could also call attention to certain aspects the reader should notice.

e.      The form is simply an intro of the repetitive happening with the father, a scene with the father and the man at the door, and the ending sentence. The children never have voices of their own, which is interesting. It almost seems like the story is told by the mother about her ex-husband. The father has his voice in the second part along with the salesman. The mother, if the author, would be the one telling of their activities in the narrative section. The kids never get a section. They are silent passive agents to the movements of their parents.

f.        I also read: “How to Fall in love For Real” by Kent Shaw, “Balancing Act” by Lisa Knopp.